Suspiria

October 15, 2017

This week's film is the 1977 "classic" horror piece "Suspiria". Highly lauded as a masterpiece of horror we understand the film is well loved but couldn't find much to love about it ourselves. A young dancer from New York has been accepted to a presitigious dance Academy in Europe. Upon her arrival strange events begin to plague the Academy and the young American girl seems to be at the center. While at times the directing makes competent nods towards Hitchcock and Lynch techniques the story and character development leave a lot to be desired. By modern standards this is a slow and difficult film to watch but may fare better if it's not your first viewing. If you've yet to watch this film beware the story spoilers however the story is it's weakest aspect so we won't be spoiling much.

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Catwoman

October 3, 2017

At this point in the podcast we've watched a lot of films that we would consider the worst of their genre. This week our film is the absolute worst superhero film of all time "Catwoman". Vaguely resembling the DC comic of the same name (if you squint hard enough mid stroke) this film follows Patience Phillips (that's right...not Selina Kyle) as she is imbued with an ancient Egyptian cat soul which causes her to wear leather, tell off her boss, hiss at dogs and suddenly kick ass at basketball. Complete with action scenes shot so poorly you'll get motion sickness, a sidekick who basically stops a hair shy of sexually assaulting every man in the film and an overwhelming number of camera pans across a terrible CGI city they didn't even have the balls to call Gotham. I'll throw out the obligatory spoiler warning but seriously, don't watch this film. It is literally the worst. Period. 

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Star Trek Beyond

September 27, 2017

Our film this week is either the best or worst Star Trek film in the reboot trilogy. "Star Trek Beyond" seemed to polarize us according to how much we enjoyed the previous Star Trek franchise films and series. Star Trek Beyond follows the crew of the Enterprise as they embark on a deep space rescue mission which results in the crew being stranded on an alien planet. If this traditional Star Trek story set up has you excited then you likely fall into the camp of those who will enjoy this film. It really does nothing new for the franchise but rather serves as a love letter to the previous versions of the Enterprise crew. If you're more a fan of the reboot series this film will still be an enjoyable ride but may not do as much to impress you as the first two films. This is a decent film regardless and if you haven't seen it yet just be warned that full spoilers will follow.

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Innerspace

September 14, 2017

Our film this week is the 1987 Martin Short classic "Innerspace". Jack Putter is a high strung supermarket employee who's about to know what it feels like to have a fit and lean 1980's version of Dennis Quaid inside of him. When Tuck Pendleton is selected to pilot an elite craft designed to be shrunk and injected into a biological specimen; a laboratory break-in and incidental hypodermic mall injection find the two literally joined together. It then becomes a desperate gambit for Pendleton to escape before his air supply runs out or Putter is killed by rival scientists preoccupied with gaining the technological edge. As children of the 80's this is yet another awesome, nostalgic trip for us however we also feel it holds up well enough for newcomers to find it enjoyable. Though the second half may drag a little we were still mostly pleased with the cast, effects and humor in this film. This is definitely one you'll want to watch before the podcast if you haven't seen it already. 

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Nine Lives

September 8, 2017

Our film this week is the body switching embarrassment "Nine Lives". Kevin Spacey plays New York real estate mogul Tom Brand who like every successful man in a body switching movie lacks the ability to connect with his family and needs to be taught a lesson about appreciating what he has before it's gone. Tom will feline (malign but you know...requisite bad cat pun) the day he meets mystic pet shop owner Felix Perkins (Christopher Walken) who inexplicably possesses the power to place a human consciousness in a feline body. Awful, computer generated cat antics ensue and at the end...we're not even sure a lesson was learned. Watching a live cat for 90 minutes is a much better alternative to watching this film. It literally combines a lot of our least favorite cinema elements (bad child acting/horrible CGI/jokes that never find footing) into one flaming shit bag that we dissect for your (and our own) amusement. If we somehow manage to spoil this film for you then your reading comprehension skills are clearly so low that there is no adequate way to apologize or forewarn you of spoilers.

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Creed

September 1, 2017

This week's film is the latest intallment in the long running Rocky saga "Creed". Adonis Creed is an up and coming amateur boxer who in spite of being innately talented also happens to be headstrong, undisciplined and in need of guidance. Adonis moves to Philadelphia seeking the aid of his father's former rival and friend Rocky Balboa but finds much more than mentor. While this film hits many of the same notes as the original "Rocky" film, it is brilliant in it's execution and presentation. Most notable are the wonderful and authentic performances from each and every cast member. This film is a literal masterpiece regardless of whether you like boxing or have seen prior Rocky films. Please, please, please watch this film first to avoid spoilers. Then listen to the podcast...then watch Creed again.

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The Void

August 23, 2017

This week's selection, "The Void" seemed to be one of the more divisive films in recent memory. A small town hospital is surrounded by cultists following the arrival of a new and presumably drug addled patient. The events quickly devolve into an all out cluster as corpses inexplicably rise from the dead and transform into Lovecraftian monstrocities. We all agree that while this film has some really spectacular practical effects, the viewer has some pretty terrible acting and dialogue to overcome. If you're willing to overlook these flaws there are a lot of homages paid to a number of fantastic horror franchises as well as some excellent and oppressive film direction taking place. If this is on your radar at all please watch the film as this one does delve into spoiler territory rather quickly.

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Castlevania

August 10, 2017

This week was a super fun SPOF as we discuss the Netflix original Castlevania series. As long time gamers this episode is less about the very brief but promising series and more about games. We also discuss prior and upcoming game to film adaptations and what can or (in most cases) didn't make them successful. There's little in the way of spoilers for this episode since there's little in the way of content (four episodes clocking 23 minutes a piece) so there's no need to have watched the series before listening to the episode. 

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Police Academy

August 4, 2017

While we're not exactly sure you could call it a classic this week's film is responsible for 7 sequels, Michael Winslow's career and countless Steve Guttenberg jokes. The premise of "Police Academy" is a flimsy one; the mayor of a major metropolitan area decides to open the police academy to recruits who are grossly unqualified...no doubt so hilarity could ensue. Much to our surprise this film does have a few laugh out loud moments despite all the 80's cheese and if you don't look too hard at all its faults comes away being an enjoyable experience. Given the number of 80's comedies that don't hold up so well in the modern era you could do a lot worse than take a nostalgia trip with this surprisingly diverse group of predictably schticky yet somehow oddly charming characters. There's not a lot of meat to serve up on a spoiler platter but we do talk about some of our favorite jokes in the film. If you want to preserve some of the more comedic moments it's probably best to come at the film fresh and give a listen afterwards.

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Okja

July 26, 2017

Hey Streaming Pile of Flix listener, do you love the podcast but don't find it to be as soul crushing as you would like? Do you wish you could hear us argue about gentically modified foods or the ethics of stem cell research and the logistics of growing meat on plants? Then look no further than this week's episode as we discuss the Netflix original "Okja". The Mirando Corporation (a fictional corporation bearing no similarity to any existing evil, soulless, heartless or despicable company which produces genetically modified products) claims to have discovered a new species of "super pig" which grows to an enormous size and will soon be available for mass consumption. Before introducing this new and fantastic meat product to the world they send twelve "super pigs" to various corners of the Earth to be raised by indigenous people in the region. Enter Mija, a young and adorable South Korean girl who raises her best friend "Okja" to be the biggest and strongest of the "super pigs"...only to have Okja dramatically ripped from her loving home to be sent to slaughter. Mija travels to New York City in a desperate bid to rescue her pig and return Okja to her home. While we all generally agree this is a good film it is certainly not recommended for those who are sensitive to animal rights issues as it will ruin your day. Hell, it will probably ruin your day anyhow presuming you have a soul. We spoil this film in the same way this film will likely spoil your desire to have a steak so please check out the film first.

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